Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Walking it Out





You know, it's one thing to learn a lesson and quite another to walk it out. Have you ever noticed that? I have been reading a blog that I want to share with you -

http://kathrynsonlinejournal.blogspot.com/2008/09/first-things-first.html

You can go back and read the posts prior to this one if you like to make sense of the post. Kat is going through a difficult trial, having a physical condition that causes her a great deal of pain. I shared my experiences on that blog with her as I will share with you now.

Right after I gave birth to my first child I started feeling a great deal of pain, which was diagnosed as endometriosis. It was very hard for me to care for my newborn having so much pain. I suffered with this condition for many years. I had a lazar surgery to try to remove the endometriosis, but still allow me to have more children. I had to take monthly shots after that to put me into an early menopause, and four years later my second child was born. The endometriosis came back with a vengeance and I think it was two years later I had a hysterectomy to rid me forever of this extremely painful condition.

During these years I begged God to forgive me. I played tapes that read healing scriptures over and over. I did everything I could think of to convince God to heal me. When He didn't I started feeling like He would heal others, but for some reason He wasn't about to heal me. When I first had the hysterectomy I told people that God used that to heal me but I didn't believe it. I would tall God that didn't bring Him glory. It brought to Doctors glory.

A year or so after my ordeal was finally over my husband was in a car wreck. He was hit from behind, and a disk in his upper back was damaged. He has been in pain ever since. I went through the same things on his behalf. I prayed and begged God to heal him. I did a Beth Moore study that really boosted my faith and I prayed and prayed for him. HE is still not healed.

Just recently God has shown me that where I have been going wrong is that I need to be seeking to get closer to God, not seeking what God can do for me. In other words, I made what He can do for me more important that my relationship with Him. Putting that into practice, now, is another matter.

I tend to get caught up in the activities of the day. There are many things that I have to do in a day (I know, we all have this problem for sure) and seeking a closer relationship to God seems like a challenge. But I also am starting to realize that I spend more time with God than I realized before. I pray when I am doing dishes or some other chore. When I can't sleep I talk to God. I am bad about now reading much of the Bible, but if I am at least reading a scripture a day, I can meditate on that and try to let it get into my spirit.

If you had had some success in walking this out, please let me know your tips!

5 comments:

A Hoosier Family said...

You know how it is, being a Mom. Kids always asking for something (at least when they're older) way more than spending quality time with us. So too is it us with our heavenly Father. We're always asking for this and that, but not "sitting on His lap" or "lovin'" on our heavenly Father. I too am guilty of this. I go for the hands (give-outs) instead of His face.

As far as God's Word, what about trying "God's Word for Today" put out from A/G headquarters? This is one I personally use. You can find it online at: http://www.ag.org/top/devotional/index.cfm Then, if you want, you can listen to the Bible online by going to : www.biblegateway.com Put in the Bible Chapter. When it comes up you will see little buttons above. One will look like a speaker, and you can Listen to God's Word being read to you. How great is that?

Hope this helps in some small way.

Blessings
~Sharon~
A Hoosier Family
Assembly of God Blogs

Debbie said...

Those are great suggestions, thanks so much! I try to take a walk every day, and when I do, many times I will listen to a podcast on my Ipod as well. I have the audio Bible podcast, Focus on the family, etc. I can listen to Bible teaching or the Bible read aloud, or encouraging Christian music that allows me to praise God while I walk.

Debbie C. said...

I can so relate Debbie. It seems alot of us are struggling with "stuff" right now. I really believe God is trying to get His people into a different level of relationship with Him. He is longing for more intimacy with us and I know for me, He has finally gotten my attention. I hate to admit it, but I have allowed other things, entertainment and just busy-ness to rob that special time with Him. He loves us so and is so very patient, loving, kind and merciful. We certainly don't deserve it, but He freely gives to us anyway. I love you and appreciate you sharing your heart. I know God delights in you!!

Kat said...

Thanks for sharing more of your story. It really helps me to hear it and to learn from what you went through. God's ways just don't make sense sometimes and I really want to learn to love Him and know Him despite my circumstances. Like Starr mentioned from that book "Prisoner in the Third Cell" I don't want to walk in offense toward God when He doesn't meet my expectations. Again, thanks for sharing. We're learning and it helps so much to process it all together. Love you.

Debbie said...

It is such a blessing that God allowed all of us to walk this out together. When we are alone we are like a sheep separated form the protection of the fold and easy prey for the wolves. (Namely Satan). Thank you all for being open enough to walk with me!