Forgive me if today's writings are lengthy, I have a lot to share and work through. Writing helps me process things.
Last Wednesday night we were driving home in the '85 Cutlass Ciera that we just got back up and running. It started coughing more and more, the closer we got to our house. It cut off once or twice, then started making a loud scraping sort of noise. We barely made it home, but we did make it home. We have a mechanic right in our neighborhood, just one mile from our house so we used our other car to push it to the mechanic. Yesterday he declared it beyond repair as the problem seems to be the crankshaft, bearings and many other really bad sounding things.
The really neat thing is that yesterday morning when I was doing my devotional, it was so tailored to me and what is going on with my life that I knew God arranged for me to read that devotional for precisely that time.
I have been dealing with health problems for a few weeks now that leave me very tired and acting like I have PMS to the extreme. It literally has been hard to keep up with all I have to do on a day to day basis. I don't even think straight any more and feel like I'm not even good at grocery shopping. We live 30 minutes from town, so having one car is very challenging. I have to drive my hubby to work and pick him up after work if I am to have a car, which means two hours traveling in the car. We also have to get our homeschooling done as well. I have two appointments next week so right away I need to face that challenge head on. So needless to say, I needed encouragement yesterday, and God gave it to me BEFORE we got the final word to put the car to rest. Let me share what the devotional said in a nutshell:
TP from Heaven
"My God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19 AMP
The story in the devotional talked about a preacher's wife who was suffering severe health problems that left her weak, lethargic, and drained of all her strength. She was a nurse and her husband a preacher. Her husband felt it was time to leave the church he was pastoring during this time, so she had to work two nursing jobs to support them when she didn't even have the energy or strength to work one job. One Friday she needed toilet paper but didn't have the money to buy any so she asked God to stretch the half roll they had left. The next day she found a full roll of toilet paper in the mail box, sent as a sample. She asked everyone on her mail route if they also got a full roll of toilet paper and no one else did except one other preacher's wife. It really ministered to her that God not only had a sense of humor, but He cared about even the little things like toilet paper.
"Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you." 1 Peter 5:7 TLB
So obviously God knew ahead of time the car was going to die, and he knew I would be concerned so He talked to me through this story. How cool is that!
Later on that day as we were driving home from shopping, I was looking out of the car window and someone in the car next to us was dressed as a disgusting, realistic-looking looking scary thing. He turned to look right at me to see if I would jump and scream, I guess, which I didn't. HA! Now I am an adult so I know I have to deal with Halloween and am big enough to ignore this stuff. But at night when I was trying to sleep I was attacked with all the worrying about how will I get the boys to basketball practices when they will be in two different places in the county, how will I.... how will I... (you get the picture). If that wasn't bad enough I had a bad dream that scared me. I can't remember the last time that happened. But here is the cool thing about it - first of all I was so scared, I almost asked my husband to go to the bathroom with me, but I didn't. I just sang Jesus name over and over until I was back in the bed. The dream kept wanting to reply in my head, and I wanted to stop it to enable me to go back to sleep. But then God made it clear to me that it wasn't a bad dream at all. The dream was of my family and I in a van with people that looked like my grandparents. The grandmother look alike person then pulled a gun on me and was then somehow chasing me. (Don't know how we got out of the van.) I ran to a house with familiar people who were right there by the sliding glass door so I was able to open the door and they could pull me in to safety. The grandmother person grabbed my heel as I was being puled but I was still pulled to safety. What was so scary was I awoke at that moment and thought I could feel my heel being grabbed. In the dream I was even more scared at what would happen to my family in the van. Well when God revealed what the dream really was I realized that the Grandmother person wasn't shooting at me. She tried but the bullets wouldn't come out so she was throwing them at me. Of course that couldn't hurt me. So try as he may, the enemy can't hurt me. He protects and provides and even the bullets couldn't hurt me.
God is so good and He is so personal. I know He understands my situation and has answers for every problem. Please help me pray for understanding, wisdom and the grace to trust God like never before. Thanks for your patience today!